She felt that he was just a little too slick. John, for his part, was scared spitless of her. He had made the mistake of calling her Susan once. He never made that mistake again.As I leaned on my shovel, I called out, “Hey John, how’s my favorite boy scout? Have you learned how to read a map yet?”He grimaced as he dismounted his horse. “You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?”I had first met John as he was guiding a family from Nebraska. They had never been in the big mountains before and were having the time of their lives. What they didn’t know was that John Wadsworth, outdoors guide extraordinaire, was hopelessly lost, and getting desperate. He had spent the previous two days trying to figure out where he was and feeding the family a bunch of tall tales.When Suzy and I rode up, the relief in John’s eyes was almost heartbreaking. “Dude,” he quietly started, “Can you help me out, please? I brought these folks up here and screwed up. I brought the wrong maps. I have. That's the top 'FacilityTime' in the place. I'd just given my once a week lecture, and today, ithad been on Trade Unions and the Labour Party, and it is part of thisSemester's Module on Labour Relations.The Staff Refectory, where I was headed, is a bizarre place. UniversityManagement worship at the altar of their Minorities Representation Policy,and they tend to want to celebrate Diversity in every way possible.Bizarrely, they sometimes forget. The Refectory was originally named theJimmy Saville Lounge, but once he was outed, they had an urgent need tofind a new name for it. Staff and Students were consulted. Nelson Mandelaticked a few boxes, but his brand was thought to be contaminated by 'OnlyFools and Horses' and overuse. My suggestion was 'Myra Hindley Lounge'.Fortunately, submissions were anonymous, because I realised immediatelyafter I posted it in the Suggestions box, that I really meant MyraBreckenridge, the TG heroine in Gore Vidal's eponymous novel, but theManagement were.
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